Broken hearted

My heart is broken.  Nathan came home from school today and you can tell he had been talking about cars and driving.  Lately, he has been very interested in keys.  His teacher gave him an old set of keys to come home with and was asking lots of questions.  One of the questions was about how to take a driving test.  He became very upset because his teacher reminded him that a person has to take the test alone in order to pass.  He kept saying “but I am blind and can’t see so can you please help me take the test?”  I didn’t answer right away, I was trying to find the right words.  He then asked if I was blind like him would I be able to drive?  I explained to Nathan that unfortunately when someone is blind they cannot drive and he said “what about an automatic car?”  I said absolutely!  I will NOT let Nathan believe it is not possible.  He went on to tell me how all he wants to do when he grows up is be able to drive, get married and have kids.  He literally talks about getting married all the time!  How would I ever take that away from him.  We do not discourage this idea, we just tell him he has to wait until he is older.  I never want him to feel like he won’t be able to have a love like that.  It is days like these where I physically want to throw up from the thought of his future.  It is also days like this, that I hold him a little closer and thank God for the gift of him.

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4 responses to “Broken hearted

  1. So glad you shared with us….the days when you are pushed to your limits, know we are right there with you….Your doing a fantastic job…This disease has take much from each of you…but never allow it take any of his or your dreams….They can give us respite from the darkness and pain…Hugs and Love

  2. I believe with my whole heart that sometimes it is ok to tell our children what they want and need to hear at that time. One time I made up a whole bunch of things about heaven to help Kyra understand in her own 3 year old way how great heaven will be. I believe you can tell Nathan anything you want to make him happy about the future. It will keep him remaining hopeful and your days with him more imaginative and joyful as well. The more smiles he has, you will too.

  3. As always Stacey, you find the strength and wisdom to give Nathan what he needs and deserves. I am in awe that you have such a supportive school for him. That is rare in our one size, one norm, one path world today. You just keep doing what your heart tells you is right for Nathan and it will always be the right thing. We love you all.

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